You know how sometimes you're "on" with someone, and sometimes you're "off"? Sometimes they're "on with you and sometimes they're "off"? And sometimes you're both "on" and sometimes you're both "off"? ... Yeah ...
This past week we're both "on" and I feel blessed beyond words. We've had our challenges and the fight ain't over, but we're getting there.
I suck at being able to express that really deep-inside part of me, but I am trying. Most of the time he knows what I need and tries mightily to give it to me but I fight it or ignore it or don't think its "good enough." What the hell is "good enough" anyway? But this past week I couldn't fight it, I didn't even realize I hadn't fought it until right now. I just let it be and I am blessed for it. Really blessed. And it was all perfect, all wonderful. Exactly what I needed.
Have you any idea how wonderful it was to come home to a roaring fire? To a cleaned up living room? To a chair set up by the fire with the computer and a beer ready to go? It felt wonderful. I felt cherished. I let myself feel loved. I need to do that more often, let myself feel loved.
Hmmm, I really hadn't meant to do this, but that's what I have today. I am thankful beyond words for My Honey.