Sunday, February 25, 2007


Its 9:20 p.m. As I sit here I hear Punkin Head moaning and groaning. She has a cold, runny nose, cough, probably a sore throat the whole 9 yards. The worst part is I am 3 hours from home.

I took the kids to my dads for the weekend. I planned on going home on Sunday. Well, that was before the winter storm that made traffic a nightmare. We will leave tomorrow. I am working on a piece about spending time with my dad. Its actually kind of rough. Involves a lot of emotion. On the other hand, I didn't have to cook dinner at all, the wine was free-flowing and the company is pretty nice.

My youngest sister will be 15 in June. She has a (new) boyfriend. Her brother who is 20 was home on Saturday afternoon. The boyfriend had been out of town for 10 days and was on his way over. Brother says something about her hair to my sister so she goes to brush it. A few minutes later boyfriend shows up at the door and brother says "she had to go brush her hair for you." Funny stuff. I never did that to my sisters. I should have!!

Bubba had a total melt down on Friday night. We got here had dinner and are getting ready to chill out for the night. I find him sitting in Grandpa's chair, in tears crying "I can find Nick. I can't find Nick." At first I am flabbergasted, then I realize he is talking about Nickelodeon. My child's drug of choice is TV and he is addicted. AT FIVE. Scary.

Wow that is some talent, I am watching Barbara Walters interview Jennifer someone that won an Oscar. I thought he could sing! I noticed her on the Oscars tonight, wondered who she was. Hmmm. She may go far. (Depends on if Hollywood thinks she is good enough)

Tuesday, February 20, 2007


Bubba had pneumonia in November just before Thanksgiving. Every time he gets a cough now I worry "will it turn into pneumonia?" I try not to be paranoid, but it is so hard when you're the Mom. He has had a cough for the past few days and now a low grade fever. Do I keep him home or send him to school? Should I even give this much stress in my life to PRESCHOOL? Really, no. So I gave him a dose of ibuprofen and will check his temp in a few minutes to see what it is.

It is amazing the things I devote stress to because I am a Mom. Kindergarten for example. Where to send him. We are in a good school district, but will they challenge my child enough? I didn't like school. Once I had a concept down (or so I thought) I was done with it. Usually about 2 weeks into the quarter. So I skipped. A LOT. I am pretty sure I had about a 46% attendance rate in over half my classes. Not that I am really smart, I just don't like to be told what to do, or more specifically HOW. It amazes me that I have actually been able to hold down a job for more than a week or two. But that's why I take jobs I can teach myself. Trial and error is my best way to learn. And I see that in Bubba too.

So I don't know the protocol. Can I call the school, sit in on the kindergarten classes, watch how the teachers are to know if they will challenge Bubba? We are considering a private school too. My real concern there is the discipline. The school we are looking into actually teaches Latin as part of their curriculum, which I think will be useful to Bubba because he has such an amazing grasp of language already, he really will need something to keep him interested.

And perhaps I just think too much about it. (Jee, ya think?)

Also on my mind is this summer. We have a niece due to be born in June. (Yay!! Another little cuddly thing) but they live in Portland and my mother-in-law wants to be there. (No kidding) So I have this urge to get my summer worked out so that she can be there. I really feel like I need to have a plan for the entire month of June and a fall back for the last two weeks of May and the first two weeks of July just in case. Again over thinking, but I would much rather be prepared than to end up trying to pull something together like I had to do for last week.

AND ... Bubba got in some trouble at preschool last year. (You show me yours, I'll show you mine type of behavior.) So we dealt with him and the other child it involved. I thought we were done with this problem. NOPE. The same thing almost happened with another child Sunday. I am very disturbed by his behavior. I can understand once, you get in trouble and it stops. But it hasn't stopped. So I go through many thoughts. Have we sheltered him by not having him in day care? Have we over-exposed him by not being modest enough in our house? Has something happened to him? This one gets me. So I asked, in 5 year old words. And he thinks about it and answers no. But I worry.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007


I found out today that a guy I went to high school with died in January.

The obituary really didn't say much but I have a friend who was living near him a couple years back so I call her to see what happened. He committed suicide. Somehow I knew. I read the obituary and I knew. I called her and she described the few months before his death and I knew. Even before she told me he took his own life, I knew.

I wish my old friend Dawn had known. We live in the same town (I think) but never see each other. She called after she heard Kelly had died. Only she hadn't heard what happened. So I told her. And in typical Rainey style I didn't think through what I was going to say and it didn't come out very well. I hope I eased her into it, but I don't think I did. And I am sorry for that. She was quite devastated. He could very well have been her "first love" 20 years ago. I know she cared deeply for him. And he for her. His daughters middle name is Dawn.

I dd get it together enough to ask her if she was alone or if she had someone home with her. She said she did, her kids were there (the oldest is at least 14 by now) and she was going to call her mom and cry for awhile. But what a dope I can be. Ugh.

Other surprises this week include family friends splitting up after 25 years of marriage. Another situation that really didn't shock me.

How calloused am I that suicide and separation don't even make me bat an eye? No, I'm not on any anti-depressants right now. Is it the job? Dealing with death and divorce issues all day every day I just don't even have any feeling toward it anymore? No, I don't think that's it at all. Re-read my November posts. When my friend Jen died I was devastated. I just re-read it myself, and I am crying again for her family. I do still feel. I just don't feel these two situations. Interesting. Maybe after his memorial service on Saturday? I told Dawn I would be there. Maybe I can make up for being the bearer of bad news made worse? I sure hope so.

And the final surprise? Flowers! And I didn't even ask for them. My Honey brought them home to me tonight. Roses. Nice. And as for our nooner tomorrow. Cancelled. The babysitter (mother in law) is leaving town and needs me to come home at 1:00. Bummer. The flowers, definitely a surprise. The cancelled nooner, not so much.

Monday, February 12, 2007


Valentines Day is this week. I have plans too. Not the usual variety, out to romantic dinner then late night, nope that won't work for me, I have to work at 0300 (that's 3AM). So, instead I am taking off work at 1100, picking up my date (AKA My honey) and we will do a romantic lunch instead. Hopefully he will be able to spend a little more than his usual hour lunch out and we can sneak a nooner. We shall see. And as far as "romantic" goes, I don't have very high expectations. My Honey isn't the romantic type. At all. If I want a card I better tell him today or else I won't get one. It's just not his thing. I have learned to live with it. I had to decide 15 years ago if it was a deal breaker. it wasn't. If I want cards for every holiday I get them for myself (never) or I tell My Honey weeks in advance. It works for us.

Speaking of marriage, I just received a telemarketer call for Mrs. Vanbooskee. Its funny all the names I get called; Mrs. Visburk, Mrs. Busket, Mrs. Vinbursket because my last name is more than 5 letters long, therefore it can't be pronounced. Funny. Really funny because it is pronounced exactly as it is spelled.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Weird day

Just when I thought spring was here, SNOW. It always happens. We get a few weeks of mild temps (in the 40's) just to tease us that spring may actually be on the way, then one morning you wake up and SNOW. We hope it won't happen, but it always does. The weather is funny here that way. Luckily I finally took the time to go out in the back yard and rake up all the ugly pine needles from the wind storm over a month ago. It amounts to several large piles of stuff in the yard. And I am a little sore today.

I had this weird dream early this morning. Bubba came in to our bed at around 5:30 this morning and once I fell back asleep I dreamt about a large snake. It must have been 6-8 inches around and 8-10 feet long. The person showing me the snake said not to worry, just lie down and it will slither over me. So I did. Well the damned thing tried to constrict me. I couldn't breathe in my dream and I couldn't yell loud enough to get anyone's attention. It was frightening. Finally I woke up and found myself sleeping on my stomach with Bubba crowded nearby and the muscles in by back tensed up because I had been sleeping on my stomach. How weird is the human brain? To take that pain in my back, and turn it into a believable dream?

My kids are looking older this week. I keep catching glimpses of Bubba that project me forward in time. He looks somehow older and I think "wow, there's a teenage boy in there somewhere." Its kind of strange. And Punkin Head is thinning out or getting longer or both so her looks are changing too. And her hair is growing out so it makes her look different each day. Thankfully she is still very round so she looks mostly like a baby. And she is getting new words all the time. "Baby and Hello" are her two newest this week. But she still doesn't walk. Or stand. Or want to. I am trying hard not to stress about it but its to the point now where I worry that something may be wrong. She is nearly 15 months and does not pull herself up on furniture, stand on her own or even take steps when she is held (against her better judgement) standing. Its just strange. But it does make taking care of her really easy.

Monday, February 05, 2007

I did it

If you didn't look at this yesterday, you don't even know. I had a mess of a page. It took a few minutes, I had to concentrate really hard and apply myself but I figured out how to get the doggone links where I wanted them. Yay me! So much for the easier customized templates. They really aren't. Well for me anyway!

Now if I could just figure out how to change font sizes and a few other things I would be happy. But for now I am glad to be back to a page I can stand!

Sunday, February 04, 2007


There is not enough candy in the house right now. I don't know why I think I need candy, but I do.

I found, and raided, Bubba's stash. This is the candy I set aside for him to be doled out at intervals because, like me, he has absolutely no will power when it comes to sweets. Not only that, he tends to get HYPER when he gets sugared.

So I devoured the rest of a box of jelly belly's, a small kit kat and I think I may bust open the giant size Crunch bar and see how much damage I can do.

Why I ask myself am I doing this? I dunno. Stress? Nope, I discarded that with the supervisor role last week. Anger? Nope, nothing to be angry at, the dishes and laundry both got done while I worked this weekend. Boredom? Maybe. My Honey went to watch the Superbowl and I am home alone with the kids. That could be it. Boredom.

I went back to my old template. I just couldn't stand that gray one more day. It made me crazy. Only now I cant really get this one to do what I want either. Lord help me to learn html or something. Maybe I will. Probably not.

Funny kids:
Punnkin Head was at Grandmas the other day, when I got there to pick her up she was trying earnestly to tell us something. She was babbling, holding her hands out in front of her like she was saying "well now, you see ..." on and on she went. It was so funny.

Bubba was looking for something today and says "where the hell is it?" Hmmmm, oops! Guess I still need to watch my mouth. The kid doesn't miss anything. So we talked again about how hell is an adult word and I didn't want to hear him saying it again. Kids.

Thursday, February 01, 2007


I don't do politics. I don't research issues, I don't pay enough attention. If something sounds interesting I might check into it, but I don't spend hours on politics. That said, I saw a bumper sticker that caught my attention and made me laugh. I feel the need to share it:
Bush's Last day
The thing that caught my attention was the date, the thing that made me laugh were the red, white and blue words. I don't have a real opinion one way or the other, but here's where to go for yours.

In other news:
  • I got a haircut today (actually, you guessed it, I got them all cut) ((that is such a dumb joke)) Cute, Cute, Cute. I have worn my hair long-ish for years, its back to short. And layered. And bangs. Cute. When I wore this style years back I had the nickname "princess" because it looked like a style that Princess Diana wore.
  • Things are going pretty well at work as "just a dispatcher." I have had a lot of positive feedback from unexpected places.
  • I don't have to change shifts at work
  • I had a massage yesterday - heavenly
  • The house cleaner came today. She is magnificent. She even took a few minutes and organized Punkin Head's toys and Bubba's art center. What a gal.
  • The sun came out for a few minutes today too.
  • Things are looking up.
I could be a tad healthier. I have cold I guess that has worked its way to my throat and is affecting my voice. I am very hoarse, its not pretty. Especially since I use my voice all day at work. But what do I do? I feel fine, I just have to plug through. Officers call up and ask if I am alright, should I even be at work, I sound so horrible. Aren't they sweet?

It's funny, when I was in school I remember other kids losing their voices, but never me. I never screamed myself hoarse at a football game (but I only went to 3 or 4) and I never sang enough to go hoarse either. But now, in my old age I lose my voice once or twice a year. Lucky me.

And the kids, they are good. They have both had a pretty good week. So, yeah, February is looking up. After a few crappy months personally and professionally that is nice to say.