What did you miss?

Starting with yesterday:

"Good times" in Chelan. Oh yes, the Lake beckoned and we answered. My sister was at her in-laws condo and so were we. Beautiful weather, comfortable pool, lotsa food, lotsa Mike's Hard something or other and cousins. All 4 of them were together, and they did pretty well. Turns out my son is kind of a brat. He hits a little more than I think is okay and we need to work on this. I don't observe him playing very often so I had no idea. Although I am pretty sure that the school would tell me if it were a problem. It might have been more an excited thing, being there with the cousins and all. Trying to share, toys, attention, that kind of thing.

I say "good times" because the other day we were driving somewhere and I hear my son say "good times Mom, good times" out of nowhere in the back seat. Funny stuff to me because a couple people use that phrase at work when things are out of control and I KNOW I didn't bring that one home with me. So I ask him where he heard that ... TV. Of course.

Sunday, Saturday and Friday - work, work, work. And it was busy, busy, busy. Friday night I was dispatching fire and EMS and I was pretty sure I would need a book to pass the time. Boy was I wrong. Not only was I busy, I was super busy. So busy that the fire folks (chiefs, firemen and EMS personnel) I talked to the next day even commented how busy it had been. Its must have been busy for them to notice.

The rest of last week? Uneventful. I don't remember anything major, I have a couple Bubba stories, but for the life of me I cant think of a single one right now. Punkin Head is practicing her standing alone. And she can finally walk behind her push toy she got for Christmas. All these are good things. She just might walk before she is 2 years old after all.

Practice

Here is part of my class assignment. We were supposed to practice shifting the focus from the subject near us to the subject behind that. So here is Punkin Head's shoulder or the grass. The grass picture came out a little light, but I have the idea. I actually have several more pictures, Punkin Head and I spend an hour at the park having lunch one day after we dropped Bubba off at school. It was a really nice way to spend a little time with her.

(Unlike the time we spent together last night, oh wait that was THIS MORNING. She was awake from 11pm until after 3am. So much for sleeping through the night. I have no idea where we, make that I, went wrong last night.)

Great news

I have been worrying off and on about Kindergarten. Where to send Bubba. Private or public school. We had mostly decided that private school might be an unreasonable expense since one of us felt that both kids should eventually attend the same school (not me). So I was pondering the district we reside and trying to figure out how to know what to do (read: trying to get my way).

At Bible Study Wednesday morning, one of my friends announced her brother-in-law is going to be the principal at that school. The best thing is that I went to school with said BIL and he is great! He has excellent leadership skills, is very even tempered and I think he is someone I could talk to if there is an issue. Yay for us. Plus Bubba gets to go to school with his Best Buddy. So the big project next week is getting the registration paperwork filled out.

I found a listing for a job with the school district. . .
Pays pretty well, but not quite what I make now. BUT Summers off. Day time hours, every weekend off, holidays off. Christmas break off, Thanksgiving off. Thinking about applying. Maybe I could teach an aerobics class or two a week to make up for it? Maybe I could spend less. (Are you kidding me??) Do I really want a new job? How DO I want to spend the next bit of my working years? How many dammed years to I have left to work? 15, 20? Just thinking about it.
** update: apparently I'm not looking for a new job. This turned into a really unpleasant evening discussion. ** (Or maybe I just didn't get my way. Jeez, I can be a brat.)

Learning

I went to a photography workshop last night. The things I need to learn and practice. I now know how my pictures could have turned out better using the M, Av and Tv modes on my camera to adjust shutter speed and aperture. Very cool. The workshop is actually 2 Monday nights, we have a project to complete for next week (aka homework). I am actually excited to do it. I just need some time and a still life to photograph.

I must say, My Honey sure did pick a good one when he bought our camera. Its a Cannon Power Shot s3 IS. Its very easy to use, but has all kinds of great features too.

(The first picture is a little tiny flower growing on the trail to the bridge at Deception Pass, the second one is some kind of flowers near the pond at Greenbank Farms)

Deception Pass

Simon Park

Simon Park at Langley, WA

A bit of a sunny day. Everything looked like it was eating something.

Couldn't wait

painted planter box on a staircase leading to an upstairs apartment! Clever.
Langley, WA

my new babies

Greenbank Farms, WA

on my walk to Greenbank Farms

Greenbank, WA

reminded me of a Pirate Ship

Langley, WA

random yellow flowers growing from an old piling on the beach

Langley, WA

Hope you enjoy! I was working on FOCUS.

These are completely unedited. Any suggestions?

Cottagae

THAT was exactly what I needed.

The Cottage was great, the area was nice and the weather ... WOW. We had two spectacular days including this one at Ebey Landing. It was only 65 degrees there, but it was warm enough to make the sand steam and the birds want to get out and play. We had great low tide everywhere we went. *sigh* I totally enjoyed Whidbey Island. We checked it out from bow to stern, port to starboard. It was great.

We were within walking distance to Greenbank Farms so I took the walk with camera in hand. It was a great day for getting pictures of things. Plants, animals and a few birds. I swear they were teasing me, the birds. I don't know what they were, black things with red on their wings, at the "shoulder" not the tip and I just HAD to have a picture. So I waited and I waited and I think I did alright. There were those birds, deer, rabbits, seagulls, loons or cranes, I don't know which, and we saw whales! And could hear them blow their spout. "pshshshshtt" It was so very cool. Other animals included geese and a flock of goslings, they were too cute, swans, pigeons, you know. And of course on the beach the clams, mussels, crabs, stuff like that. It was great. More later, I want to post a few (dozen) pictures, because I only took 200. Yeah, I might have gone a little overboard.

We got home and it is, well the high today was at least 90. I can't even believe it. I love it. Summer is by far my favorite season. The hot weather, sunshine, unlimited opportunities. Bring it on! Now if I only had a babysitter this summer... Anyone?

More

I worked an overtime shift today and we had some calls of note that I reviewed. 3 of them were attempted suicide and two were stabbings. From a Monday! Its times like these when I wonder how I stand it. Do I really belong in Dispatch?

How do I walk into a place where we talk about things like suicide and perverts as a part of our regular conversation. "Hey, did you see the suicide call? How about that perv arrested at the park?" Then I go home, and act like nothing happened? What makes me the kind of person who isn't totally bombarded by those calls emotionally and spiritually? What keeps me from being like them (the ones we deal with)?

So here we go into the busy season. Best not to dwell on it too much or it will be too much.

Two stories

Story one:
(I had to wait and see if this one would be published or not, since it was, here we go)
Ronald McDonald was assaulted at the Fat Fest in the Park during Kids Day Sunday!
Not entirely funny, but it was. Apparently on a dare some kid ripped his wig off. They wanted to arrest the kid but Ronald McDonald wouldn't give his real name so the kids got off. (No victim, no crime.) We are a sick group of individuals in Dispatch. The general comment about Ronald was that he must be a sex offender or has warrants for his arrest so he didn't give his name. It was the best story of Sunday.

Story two:
The best arrest of Saturday goes to: Well, this one hasn't been published yet, but let me just say to the men and boys: don't stand around Triangle Park with your hands jiggling in your pockets near the cheerleaders. They arrested that pervert too. Triangle Park is where all the groups converge before getting funneled down the street for the parade. Gross. Gross. Gross. I probably could have done without that knowledge, but since I had to know, so do you!

First Reader

My mom found this book First Reader by Phyllis Schlafly at the Goodwill. WHAT A STEAL. It's a $60 book! Sheesh, she paid a dollar. Maybe.

Anyway, I was searching Amazon and EBay for the workbook, no luck.

Its quite the book, takes kids through the paces of learning to read. By the time they make it through all 160 pages they have learned to read words like "completely, kangaroo, seventy, candidate and woodpecker".

I like how it is arranged, how it builds upon itself. Anyway, an Amazon search revealed a little more about the author (and what people think of her.) YIKES! Good thing I like to know for myself, I might not have given her a chance!

Apple Blossom "little weekend" was great! Can't wait to share a story or two. In fact there are exactly two I want to share and a bit of gossip (about me!) But it will have to wait until a more sober state. We are trying this new whisky... mmmmm. If I weren't so lazy, I might be an alcoholic. Truly. I LIKE the taste of most liquor. But once it is gone, its such a hassle to replace.

Awareness

Lately Bubba is cracking me up with his awareness of things.


For example, we were outside a few nights ago, he and his grandpa had made a ramp for him to ride his bike over. I asked him how it worked and he says to me (with just enough sass that I know it came from Nickelodeon) "Watch. And. Learn." (On second thought, I am sure the sass is hereditary. No teaching needed.)


Today he was rolling a ball down the banister of the stairway. I mentioned it was rolling pretty far once it hit the ground. "Yeah, its going to the chop shop."


"Whats a chop shop?" I asked him


"It's where you chop it up melt it down and turn it into something else." He got that from the movie Robots. I sure am glad I don't have to teach him this stuff, that TV and movies are educating my son.

And his sense of smell has improved. When we got to the fat fest in the park yesterday, he stopped, took a deep breath, and said something like "mmmmm, it smells goooood here." That's my boy, he knows the good smells!

Each day during the Festival there is entertainment at Memorial Park (home of the fat fest) during the lunch and dinner hours. Yesterday was the kick off to the Festival and the entertainment at lunch was awarding local kids "Chief For A Day."

Each law enforcement agency, including the Sheriff offices, Wildlife, State Patrol and Police departments recognize a grade school kid as Chief. It always a neat event that chokes me up. I don't know exactly how the kids are chosen, but they all have some kind of disability or terminal illness. Local law enforcement take them for a ride in their police cars with lights and sirens through town and then do a presentation at the park. Each Chief recognizes their little chief (or "jefe" for the Hispanic community) and shares a little about the kids with the crowd.

As the Judge was swearing-in the kids she says to them "Kids I want you all to raise your right hands." Bubba puts both hands out in front of him, picks his right hand and raised it with the kids. It was priceless.

For my justification: we did sit and read for 15 minutes once this week and as we speak he is practicing writing vowels (yes he does know them) in lower case 4 times each.

(Nearly) 100 things about me

My (nearly) 100

I must know for myself
I will go to the source of information if I feel it’s important
I don’t like to be told what to do
Or how to do it

I feel like I should explain things all the time
I am the best excuse maker

I am introspective
I am thoughtful
I can come up with advice for any occasion
I remember birthdays but seldom call or send a card
I used to remember special occasions and act on them once upon a time

I am initially quiet in a new group. Not because I am a snob, because I am observing
Once I get to know you, watch out!
I am resourceful

I enjoy religious stuff
Interestingly I have never found the need to question it (see #1)
I am sometimes judgmental
I hope I give everyone a fair chance
I find myself sometimes unable to express myself

Motherhood is the toughest job I have ever had
It is the most rewarding job I have ever had
It is both these things at the same time. A lot

I never did sports in school
I wanted to
I taught aerobics in my 20’s
I miss teaching aerobics
I miss being in shape
I trained for a triathlon
I broke my collarbone in a biking accident 6 weeks before the race
I would like to teach and train again

I am the oldest of 4
My youngest sister is 21 years younger than I am
She was born the year I got married
We celebrate 15 years this year

I am easily distracted
I start most stories with “So …”

Wow this is as hard as I thought it would be
I may have to come back to it later

I tend to obsess
About everything
I over think
Overanalyze
But seldom over react

I am fairly mechanically inclined
If I set my mind to it

I lack discipline
I don’t apply myself
I have heard these things since I was 5 years old
They are true

(I came back to this later)

I am a copy cat
But not given to peer pressure
If I like someone else’s idea I will try it on for myself and decide if I like it
I give credit where credit is due

(this is the third time I have tried to complete my 100)

I am easily entertained
I don’t care to go to movies, if we are going to send some time together, lets spend time TOGETHER

I love to eat out
Someone serving me, cleaning up, just making sure I am taken care of, bring it on!
I am polite and tip well

I don’t care to clean but I like things tidy
I have a girl that cleans for me

(fourth try)
I don’t think of myself as pretty, but I catch people looking at me often
Unless I am dressed frumpy
Then I get treated a lot different

Finding out about someone’s past trauma rarely surprises me
I seem to know things about people before they tell me
It is sometimes a burden, I can tell someone needs to talk but I don’t know how to draw them out

I am mostly insecure
I struggle with being to selfish
I know myself pretty well
I am open to self exploration to get to know me better

I have a lot of great ideas
I don’t know how to express them well or see them through

I am easily disappointed
I keep my expectations low
I learned this early in life

There you go. Thats nearly 100 things about me.
(It took me nearly 3 months)

Now, can anyone tell me how to put it in the side bar? Or in my profile?

Memories

We went to the park yesterday. What fun we had! It was at probably high 70's, clear blue sky, no wind. Ahhh. Both the kids soaked themselves in the river which might be 40 degrees right now. Bubba waded, well you can see how deep and played in the rocks with a little girl he met at the park. Punkin head decided she was not afraid of the water and crawled right on in. It was a funny experience for me. Bubba was this little fraidy cat of everything, and here was Punkin Head going balls to the wall to find out about it. They are so different!

We went to the play area after the water and I realized, for the second time this week, how far behind (physically) Punkin Head really is. Twice this week people have guessed her to be 8-10 months old because she still has a cute, fat baby face. Not to mention the lady who guessed her to be 10 months old had a kid born just days before Punkin Head who was running all over playing. (sigh.) I try not to worry, I really do, and I think I do a good job of not getting defensive about her, but alright, already . . .

So the best part of the park was that My Honey went with us. As I was getting ready to pick up Bubba from school, I almost called and invited him to come along but I thought that would be just mean "hey, wanna skip work and go to the park?" As if. On our way to school he called me to see what we were doing, I told him we were on the way to get Bubba. "Oh, I thought you might want to visit me at work." So I told him we could, but we were going to the park first, "do you want to come?" I teased, because the last thing he would do is leave work in the middle of the day. "Sure, I will be there at 3." And he was. It was a fun treat.

p.s. Happy 100th post to me. Its nice that Blogger tracks these things, I would never have known. To celebrate, I will finally post "nearly 100 things about me." Its been a work in progress. I think I only have 70-something.

That time of year again

Apple Blossom is here. I can't wait for the fat fest in the park, it starts Thursday. Its the greasiest food ever all in one place for 10 delicious days. Funnel cakes, elephant ears, corn dogs, Piroshky's, you name it, it will be here Thursday. Then the Kids Parade on Saturday. I asked Bubba a month back if he wanted to be in the parade. He told me no, he wanted to watch it. A few days later he told me he changed his mind he wanted to be in the parade, so I signed him up. A week or so after that we have the following conversation on our way to school:


B: Mom, I've been thinking
M: Yeah, Bubba, about what?
B: I've been thinking I don't want you to ride on the float with me.
M: (after I take a deep, deep breath and wipe away a tear) Really? So you want me to walk beside he float?
B: No Mom, I want to do it alone.
M: (nearly hyperventilating) Alright, you mean you want me to watch you go by? Not sit with you or walk along?
B: Yep.


AS IF. Little does he know I will be there every step of the way.
I know, I know, he's getting older, I should let him grow up. But not this year. He's still my Little Bubba. Maybe next year.

Its a wrap

The rest of the week was just as nice as Wednesday.
Friday a massage
Saturday's baby shower: good event. Not the great success I wanted it to be, but it was good. We had tried to get a masseuse hired to do a chair massage for everyone, and it didn't work out. But the rest of the thing was good.

• Here's an interesting side note of my life: I called 3 people to do the chair massage . . . I actually talked to them, in person, it wasn't like I left a message. All of them said they would get back to me, only one did. All of them are people I know and see on a regular basis, not just a business I called out of the blue. I get really bummed about myself when these things happen. And I kid you not, this kind of thing happens ALL THE TIME. It always has . . .

Sunday small group at our house.
I did kind of loose my mind on Sunday evening. I didn't eat the best lunch (cheese & popcorn with a diet coke chaser) and then gorged on the cheesecake brownies I baked for group. Yeah, that's not enough good calories for me. So I was a screaming, impatient mess. I stopped myself and counted to 10 many, many times.

(It's Monday now) I did remember to at a healthier lunch today; salad, ham & cheese sandwich. Hopefully I will have a better afternoon today. Maybe we will plant a garden. I have been toying with it. Radishes, lettuce, cucumbers. Like last year. Only this year will I actually work in it or not??

Have I mentioned that me and My Honey are leaving town for a long weekend in less than 2 weeks? I am so looking forward to it. 3 nights away. Me, Him, the beach and a one bedroom cottage. Could there be anything better? Not that I can think of. Well, okay, if it were at an exotic location with white sand and 90 degrees, that would be better. But I will take what I can get so, San Juan Islands it is.

Routine

Yesterday was a great day.

I made it out the door in time for Bible study. Had lunch in the park with a group of ladies after dropping Bubba off at pre-school, went to work (where I was bored, bored, bored) and then home to bed. It was nice to get back into a Wednesday routine.

Today I am working on the crepes for the baby shower Saturday, will take Bubba to pre-school, maybe eat in the park again because it was so nice yesterday, go to work where I will hopefully get to do something (Wednesdays we are dreadfully overstaffed) and then home. Not a bad day either.

At the Chiropractor office on Tuesday we read The Giving Tree in the waiting room. That book chokes me up every time. I think its fear. Fear that I will end up like the tree. Or the boy. I am not sure. Sometimes I feel like the tree: I wish that someone would just like me for me, not for what I can do for them. Sometimes I feel like the boy: Have I liked people for what they can do, not who they are? I think finding the balance is hard. (Yeah I am in kind of a deep place today.)

The're baaaack

So what did I get accomplished while the family was away? NOTHING
No laundry was washed, dried, or put away.
No dishes washed (not that there were any, I took my meals at work)
Nothing was picked up (again, nothing to pick up, it was just me)
No cleaning.
No nothing.
Best of all no guilt.

So I have spent the last two days cleaning up the whirlwind that is my family returning from a few days away. Someone sent a bag of doll stuff, we now have more Barbie in our house than I EVER had when I was a kid. Of course there was laundry, snacks to put away, and, oh yeah, I am supposed to assist with a baby shower Saturday. Which means I have food to prepare, gifts to purchase, games to come up with and lists to make. Lists and lists.

I do have one great story to tell about a midnight noise I heard in my house while they were gone, but I will need a few free minutes and no baby shower stuff bouncing inside my head.
Has anyone ever made a diaper cake before? I am going to give it my best try. Wish me luck.

Alone Sat pm

*sigh*
It's still very quiet at my house. The only noise right now is the refrigerator humming and the dog biting her nails. Yes, our dog bites her nails. Probably because we don't walk her. How inhumane I know. I am just not an animal lover, I tolerate them.

Theres a story: How We Got Our Dog.
I worked at the YMCA for several years. My boss was looking for a dog for her mother. She found one for free in the paper, had the owner bring her by the Y so she could take a look. The dog ended up being too big for her mom, she was looking for a "lap dog." But, for some reason, I thought the dog should go home with me. I called My Honey, asked him what he thought, and then brought the dog home anyway. Naughty me.

Luckily, Rudy has been a great dog. She doesn't mind being home alone, she doesn't need a lot of attention and she is good with the kids. She does dig in the yard, bark at strange people and tear up my garden. But for some reason, we keep her. Earlier this week she got out when I took out the trash and when she came back she smelled really bad. I thought it would go away, like she stepped in something. Turned out she rubbed herself in some other dog's shit. Nice Rudy. So I had to give her a bath.

She isn't a big dog, just 40 pounds or so, but I don't like giving her a bath. Unfortunately, I had no choice. Not only did I have to give her a bath, I had to do it with both kids home and awake. Bubba was occupied by the TV, but Punkin Head had to be entertained while I was bathing the dog. I am quite the Super Mom.

My Honey called tonight while I was at work, it was slow enough I could talk for awhile. They are having a good time. The kids have been good, the party for Great-Grandma was nice. She is getting pretty frail though. He took a bunch of pictures, I can't wait to see them.

(I did end up going to my Auntie's house. She and I went out to breakfast. When I dropped her off after breakfast, hot guy was going out to his rig.)

Alone Sat am

*sigh*
Its 9:30.
I woke up, then lay in bed day dreaming in the quiet for a couple hours.
Nice.

Now I have a few more hours to kill before work. I think I will shower, then treat myself to some kind of delicious breakfast that someone else makes, serves me and then cleans up! Biscuits, hash browns & gravy anyone? Or maybe some kind of crepes? Maybe, just maybe, I will see if my Auntie wants to go with me, probably not, I am kind of liking the alone-ness.
Although, there is this hot guy that lives in her building. . .

Aloneness

The whole fam-damily is leaving town today.

My Honey is taking the kids to my dads for the night. On Saturday they are going to his grandmas 90th birthday party (at least that's how old they think she is) then back to my dads for the night and home on Sunday.

I can't go because of work. Too short of notice to get the weekend off, so I get to be alone in our house.

I don't think I have had the pleasure in the 4 years we have lived here to be totally alone overnight except maybe once. Ahhhh. The quiet, the clean (thanks to my Girl Thursday).

Can you imagine?
What will I do with myself?
*sigh*
I don't know either.

Found Objects

Bubba, Punkin Head and I were in the yard the other day. Bubba wanted to go in the house to get some glue "so I can glue the grass." Alright. So there he was gluing the grass - literally, holding the big bottle of Elmer's above the grass, gluing the grass. I suggested we might like to glue things to paper instead. These are what we came up with. (The top one is his, the bottom one is mine).

In their hands

Well, unless it goes to arbitration, I am done with this seniority thing. I presented my case to the board in an executive session yesterday. They deliberated for 45 minutes, invited me back in and told me that they were deferring their decision until they could meet with the guild for some negotiation.

I think in plain English that it means they see my point and want to try to work something out so I don't lose 21 months of seniority. What it means is that the guild doesn't win! Yay me!! One of the Board members told me "you won your argument" the Director told me I did a nice job, very professional, unemotional, straightforward etc. And other staff said they heard from the director what a great job I did.

All I can says is "whew" I am glad its over (for now) and that I kept on keeping on. Not getting bullied by the guild. You know, that organization that isn't supposed to discriminate against employees, yeah that one. (okay, oops, I got sarcastic)


Yay me. Now I just have to sit tight and wait for the Board to do what ever it is they will do.

What now?

First things first:
It is national Telecommunicator Week. What is that you ask? Glad you asked! It's kind of like national Grandparents Day; a reason to thank and celebrate telecommunicators. What is a Telecommunicator you ask? Your local police department, sheriffs office and state or highway patrol have them, we are mostly known as Dispatchers. If you can, send a note to thank your local dispatchers for all their hard work round the clock. They deserve it. I took my son to our office yesterday, he gave a sticker to everyone working and said "thanks for being a good dispatcher" it was really cute.

Easter:
My disposition didn't improve any after a nap or better food (you were right on Seeker). I continued to be Mrs. Cranky Pants all weekend. We made it through, but it wasn't our best weekend ever.

Sick:
The kids continue to be sick. Runny nose and stuff like that. I think they have some mild allergies, everything is in bloom around here but it's getting old wiping runny noses. Not to mention the consistency of baby snot. Its like rubber cement. And it just keeps coming out her nose.

My Honey:
My Honey was also sick this past week. It started with some back pain and then worked its way into indigestion. For most relatively healthy 39 year olds it wouldn't raise red flags, but My Honey had a heart attack 2 years and a week ago. His main symptom? BACK PAIN. He was not your classic heart attack in many ways; 37 years old, no chest pain, no difficulty breathing. So we have watched his back pain all week and then throw nausea/indigestion on top of it and we were both a little stressed. So we visited the ER last night. 2 1/2 hours later we left with a prescription for a pretty heavy duty pain killer and the relief that his heart continues to work fine. We decided it would be really convenient if there was an EKG machine at Safeway like the blood pressure machines so we could just drive down and check his rhythms. Not likely to happen any time soon is it?

Work:
I am still in the midst of this seniority battle with the employee guild at work. I have to present my case to the Board of Directors tomorrow. *deep breath* It probably won't get me the 21 months back, but at least I followed through and didn't let them bully me.

Irritation

I don't know what is wrong with me but nothing, NOTHING, is making me feel good today. Not even robbing my kids' Ester basket and eating the chocolate crunch eggs. I am finding myself irritated with everything.

I was a good wife and mother today. I gave up MY massage to My Honey so he could get his shoulder worked on (yeah, I know I am the BEST WIFE EVER.) I even let him go golfing. ("Let him go" is really not what I mean, but you know...) I took the kids to an Easter egg hunt, I am trying to be nice to everyone but its just not in me today.

Bubba sitting at the table for the past 45 minutes trying to eat lunch while he sings away is BOTHERING ME. I finally set a timer for 15 minutes. "Eat by the time this goes off or you don't get any of your candy." He almost got it eaten, so I let him have the candy because I have been so mean to him today. Heaven help me. And now he is SHARING HIS CANDY with me. I am such a bad mom. I don't deserve this. Then he gave me the last one, a green one, "because its one of your favorite colors." Isn't he a gem? I don't deserve him.

It may be the transition to working nights again. Not seeing the family. Its a tough one. Its not like I haven't been here before. It used to be my favorite shift; go in at 1 pm and get off at 11 pm. Its busy at work, I get to see the kids in the morning but I miss My Honey. I guess I miss the team work of childcare. Its a tough job alone. I don't know how the single moms with more than one kid do it.

I don't know, we are going to go take a nap. Maybe in an hour I will feel better?

New Specs

Okay, so maybe they aren't "trendy" just plain ol specs with a little color.

Updates

I was pretty accurate, Bubba lasted about 5 minutes into the baseball game. I lasted 3 innings. I think it was all the advertising at the beginning. The start time for the game was 3:35 the first pitch didn't get thrown until at least 3:45. And I have no idea how it ended. (Seattle 4, Oakland 0). They have a great young pitcher, Felix Hernandez. WOW.

So after all my annual check ups last month everything is fine. I also got my eyes checked for the first time in several many years. I started to have them checked after I started to work on computers a lot. I have not needed glasses until this year. Its only for when I read and use the computer (so far). It seems like its about time. The whole family wears glasses, from grandparents on down to my siblings. Not me. Until now. So I picked out some kind of trendy frames (I think) and they are in today.

Sometimes I am so amazed that people actually read blogs. At times I feel like all I am doing is blathering on like a fool about stuff that, well its really not that interesting is it? But some of you keep coming back. Thanks!

Free Time

I don't quite know what to do? (Cut my fingernails, I had 17 typo's in just the first 5 words)
Bubba is at a friends house, Punkin Head is sleeping, I have FREE TIME.

There's always laundry, cleaning, eating. Yeah, eating. That sounds good I didn't have breakfast. But what else? I read all the blogs I love, I could surf for other things.

If I had planned better, I would have had a babysitter here when Bubba was gone so I could leave. Oh well, it's still QUIET. Except the dog snoring in the sun. I wish it were warm enough to snore in the sun outside, but for some reason we are in the midst of a cold front and there goes spring for a few days.

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Bubba found a baseball cap in his room yesterday. He has several but hardly wears them so when he came downstairs wearing his Mariners cap it was really cute. Not only that, it was near opening day of the season, which he had no clue about. So I told him he had made a good choice in caps, baseball season starts tomorrow and the Mariners will be playing. "I want to go to the game" he tells me. I wish I had thought of it, that would have been a fun spring break activity. Instead we're going to watch it on TV. For the 10 minutes he's interested anyway. I hope I can answer his questions about batting, running, pitching, rules and all that. I never watched baseball (or any other sports stuff) until I was married and then I just learned the rules by accident. I have no idea about strategy though. How do you teach that stuff if you don't know or understand it?? Leave it to the men.

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Punkin Head is making progress toward walking. Slowly but surely. She is already "late" but not where there is any concern. Give it 6 weeks (she'll be 18 months) and then they may start to test her to make sure she is okay. Her progress gives me hope though. She is actually pulling herself up to standing now (huge progress from sitting on her butt holding her arms up and saying "uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!" in baby-whine.) And she can side step if she chooses. She isn't standing without holding onto something yet, she doesn't seem to have figured out balance, so we shall see.

I taught her to say "help" in sign language last week. This is helping with the baby-whine. Her other sign language words include please, more and all done. Her word-words are coming along. She has been saying "whoo-zat?" (who's that) when I walk into her room in the mornings. She will also point to her nose and say "wha-zis?" (whats this) which is pretty cute. She can say nose, dad, Harry, dog, Rudy, woof-woof, bye bye, bottle and hello (as she holds her hand to her cheek like she is answering the phone). She can identify her belly, nose, ears, eyes, toes and mouth. I think she's pretty smart. She just doesn't walk.

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I turned down the supervisor position at the end of January and have been fighting with the employee guild ever since for seniority. What a PITA. The last thing I can do is plead my case before the Board. I am on the agenda for the April meeting.

PURPLE

Somewhere these things pop up and I am a sucker ... AND it turns out to be my favorite color.

What color is your brain

Your Brain is Purple

Of all the brain types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.

What Color Is Your Brain?

Oh the guilt

Punkin Head. She needs to sleep through the night. Every night, starting about a year ago. So we work on it. And by "we" I mean I. It is tough to let her cry it out. I just cant stand it. I try to tell myself "just 5 minutes" or what ever arbitrary time-frame I choose but I rarely make it.

So last night I tried again. I heard her at 1:30 ish, talking to herself. No need for me to even think of checking on her. About an hour later she sounded like she was trying to sleep, just a few wah-wah's here and there (every 4 minutes if you must know). Then she was quiet for about 30 minutes. Then she was wah-wahing again. This went on until around 4am. Finally all was quiet and I didn't get up to check on her a single time. I was pretty pleased. Exhausted, but pleased. And, bless his heart, My Honey seemed to sleep through the entire thing.

At 6 when she was awake and sounded like she needed a bottle, I delegated it to the one who slept through the night so I could get a few extra minutes of shut-eye. I hear him make the bottle, change her (messy) diaper and put her back to bed. All the while I am not getting any extra shut-eye at all, I am listening to them thinking "wonder how long she had that messy diaper? I really should have checked on her at 2 or 2:30 or 3 or 3:30 ..." So My Honey comes back to bed, tells me something about not feeling guilty for letting her cry it out. And I try not to feel guilty.

At 8 something, Punkin Head wakes for the day. I go into her room and the first thing I notice is the SMELL. I smell puke. So then I start to feel bad for not checking on her at 7-ish when I heard her fuss a little. Only then I realize its not from 7 am its probably from way, way, way earlier than that. Maybe from when she went to bed last night. I have no way of knowing. Except that I could have known if I had checked on her last night.

But don't worry about it, there's no reason to feel guilty.

Think In Blog

Do you ever "think in blog" and then forget to post because you were thinking about it? I do. I can't believe its been over 10 days, I keep thinking of things to write about...

One of the things we did recently was go to an informational dinner for a private school. Yes I am still obsessing about Kindergarten. This school, The River Academy is a "Classical Christian" school. They use a classical approach. I found a blog that talked about just such a thing yesterday in my drive to obsess fully. I totally see this approach working for Bubba. But the parent involvement ... am I up to that? And I heard the families are mostly stay at home moms ...

Now I appreciate and respect that they have what it takes to stay at home with their kids all day and all night serving their family, its just not for me. I was involved with a group of mostly SAHM's and it was really hard for me to relate to them, and them to me. I felt judged, unaccepted and shunned. Some of this was me. I will admit to having a chip on my shoulder too. I feel guilty, ashamed and selfish for working sometimes. I mean, why would you bring kids into this world just to send them to be raised by someone else. I totally understand. But I know my limits. I know I can't be home all the time, that I need a break and a place to not to be a mom. Not only that, I choose to work when it will have the least affect on my family. I still spend a large portion of the day with the kids and I am blessed with a MIL that watches the kids lovingly (yes, I am justifying).

So there's that, and I also heard that they expect the man to take the lead in dealing with school problems. Now ... this would be a problem. I try not to nag My Honey. Sometimes its an effort,, there is nothing I would like more than to call every day and ask "did you do laundry, did you do the dishes, did you spend some time with each of the kids, did you ...") But I choose not to. If he had to deal with all school issues, there is the possibility of some serious nagging. I also heard that the parents are snobs. Understandable, it is a private school. So all these things added up pretty much make me wonder if its worth the trouble just for a "classical education."

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A few weeks ago Bubba was watching Tom & Jerry cartoons. I mentioned that I used to watch Tom & Jerry too. He gets all wide-eyed and asks "Did you have Cartoon network when you were little too?" Which made me laugh and answer "No Bubba, we didn't have Cartoon network, we actually only had 5 channels on our TV and cartoons were only on in the morning before school and on Saturdays." He thought about this for a moment and then, in his child-like innocence said "Did you have cable or dish network?" Talk about funny! To think that my kids will never know less than 75 channel choices, cartoons available 24/7, and whippy-skippy fast Internet. They will never know a house without at least 2 TV's, 2 computers, DVD's and video games. Technology.

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Punkin Head is quite the character. She was touching my lap top recently so I told her "No." She touched it again, I told her "No, and if you touch it again I will slap your hand." She looked at me and chose to touch it again, so I slapped her hand and told her "No, and you will get slapped again if you touch it." She touched it a final time, was slapped and that was that test.

A few days later she was near something that is dangerous and she shouldn't touch, Bubba told me so I went in and told her, "Don't touch that its dangerous and I will slap your hand if you touch it again." The booger looks right at me, reaches her hand out and then pulls it back, GIVING HERSELF THE SLAP ON HER HAND. I was slightly startled and then thought it was funny. And brilliant. She remembered from at least a week previous (or longer). Yikes, another smart one.

A few days later when I was on the lap top she was in my lap for a minute and she slapped MY hand for touching it. Still quite smart.

She is 16 months old now and still doesn't walk. But she climbs the stairs?? She is making progress though, she is just choosing a slow path. Wants to get every step perfect (literally). She is at least pulling herself up on the furniture now, she still won't take steps, but I am getting over worrying about it.

Aging, a soapbox and good news

Well, I was confronted with my age this week in a way I didn't like at all.

I went in for a yearly exam. No big deal (except for the complete violation of ME). Afterward, my Doctor tells me that we should probably get a baseline mammogram before I am 40 so we have it on file. So I start to respond that I have a few years, but in reality - well, no I don't. Before I am 40 is, well it turned out to be today at 2:30.

What a process. Thankfully my new friend Amy was kind, funny and well, not gentle but she knew how to get my less-than-A-cup-boobies right where she needed them. A lot of practice I am sure. How would you like that as a clinical trial? "We are looking for women under 40 who have never had a mammogram so we can train in proper technique." Uh, no thanks. Not even for a thousand bucks. Well, maybe for a thousand bucks.

But as with all precautionary things, it should be done. Apparently you should have a baseline done before you are 40 and then yearly after that. If you have a history of breast cancer in your family, you should have one done sooner that that. (There, done with the soapbox.)

It sure made me feel old though, knowing someone thinks I am that close to the big 4-0. Or that I am considered close to 4-0. YIKES. I had hoped my 30's might last 3 more years!

And just to make me fee a little older: I did a Pilates class on Tuesday that I am still sore from. Coughing and sneezing have really sucked today!

In good news, Punkin Head's rash is all but gone, everyone seems healthy, the sun has been shining and its DST (daylight savings time) soon.

And then

And then Punkin Head broke out in a rash. Hives all over her poor little body from head (and I mean on her scalp) to toe, and I do mean toe. She was one big red blob. Cause? Unknown, could be the amoxicillin, which means she is labeled as allergic to penicillin forever or it could just be the way her little body responded to whatever virus she happened to catch. What ever the hell it was, let it be gone! I think I have had my share of sick.

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I always think twice about sharing a work story, but this one, well, you decide. I worked the Fire/EMS desk last week, pretty boring until there was an aid call or fire call and then I was on. Working this 3am to 1pm shift has been less than productive. I miss most of the good stuff and I definitely miss the busy times of the day. Such was true last week too. I had only one aid call up until around 10 am and it was for a male that had pulled out his catheter. (Yeah, I winced too) and he was bleeding from his ... well you get the picture, and I do want you to picture it, he has pulled out a catheter and is bleeding from his ...

So my job is to send an ambulance. The ambulance responds, transports him to the hospital. Not a big deal. Later the ambulance tells me they are taking him back to his house, I assume his catheter is back in place. An hour later someone calls again asking for the ambulance to return, his catheter has been pulled out again (same wince). So they go. By this time I am laughing in a dispatch-sick way. We deal with trauma everyday, laughing about someone elses pain lets off steam.

The ambulance transports him as we are having our crotch-grabbing laugh. One of my co-workers husbands works for the hospital where he was transported. Just so happens she is working when I mention that my only calls have been for the catheter-guy. She starts to tell me how they probably called her husband in because he is a catheter specialist. Really?? Thanks for the visual. Now I have the picture of her husband inserting catheters burned onto my eyeballs. Thanks. Just what I needed I tell her. This really brings on the laughter. Then she continues to tell us, yeah at his his old hospital it was his specialty, they used to call him in for that kind of work, he was especially good with prostate cancer patients. Alright, already, I have the image of him with penis in hand (literally) inserting catheters burned into my brain now, thanks!! But I cannot resist just one more comment "he must have a gentle touch" (or genital touch) Am I bad or what? Sick sick sick.

side note: I am half afraid to publish this with "penis" and "genital" in it.

Home

Well, we made it home in one piece then everyone fell apart.

Bubba was okay enough to go to school on Monday after we got home, but stayed home the rest of the week for a variety of sickness; fever, vomit and recovery. Punkin Head was catching something the whole weekend at my dads, coughed pretty bad on the way home (not my best trip ever) and ended up with an ear infection, runny nose turned into vomit. She is finally seeming better today. What a week. On top of all that, my sister and My Honey's sister were both due in town this weekend. My sister was supposed to stay with me but ended up at our other sisters house due to the throwing up baby. My Honey's sister did come visit so I was able to see her and her hubby for a few minutes (between vomits). AND it was my long work week too.

I am done in. I could probably go to bed and sleep until Friday!! Thankfully it IS my Friday, so I get a couple days off, work 3 days and then off for my 4-day weekend. *sigh* Looking forward to that.

Ramblings

Its 9:20 p.m. As I sit here I hear Punkin Head moaning and groaning. She has a cold, runny nose, cough, probably a sore throat the whole 9 yards. The worst part is I am 3 hours from home.

I took the kids to my dads for the weekend. I planned on going home on Sunday. Well, that was before the winter storm that made traffic a nightmare. We will leave tomorrow. I am working on a piece about spending time with my dad. Its actually kind of rough. Involves a lot of emotion. On the other hand, I didn't have to cook dinner at all, the wine was free-flowing and the company is pretty nice.

My youngest sister will be 15 in June. She has a (new) boyfriend. Her brother who is 20 was home on Saturday afternoon. The boyfriend had been out of town for 10 days and was on his way over. Brother says something about her hair to my sister so she goes to brush it. A few minutes later boyfriend shows up at the door and brother says "she had to go brush her hair for you." Funny stuff. I never did that to my sisters. I should have!!

Bubba had a total melt down on Friday night. We got here had dinner and are getting ready to chill out for the night. I find him sitting in Grandpa's chair, in tears crying "I can find Nick. I can't find Nick." At first I am flabbergasted, then I realize he is talking about Nickelodeon. My child's drug of choice is TV and he is addicted. AT FIVE. Scary.

Wow that is some talent, I am watching Barbara Walters interview Jennifer someone that won an Oscar. I thought he could sing! I noticed her on the Oscars tonight, wondered who she was. Hmmm. She may go far. (Depends on if Hollywood thinks she is good enough)

Worries

Bubba had pneumonia in November just before Thanksgiving. Every time he gets a cough now I worry "will it turn into pneumonia?" I try not to be paranoid, but it is so hard when you're the Mom. He has had a cough for the past few days and now a low grade fever. Do I keep him home or send him to school? Should I even give this much stress in my life to PRESCHOOL? Really, no. So I gave him a dose of ibuprofen and will check his temp in a few minutes to see what it is.

It is amazing the things I devote stress to because I am a Mom. Kindergarten for example. Where to send him. We are in a good school district, but will they challenge my child enough? I didn't like school. Once I had a concept down (or so I thought) I was done with it. Usually about 2 weeks into the quarter. So I skipped. A LOT. I am pretty sure I had about a 46% attendance rate in over half my classes. Not that I am really smart, I just don't like to be told what to do, or more specifically HOW. It amazes me that I have actually been able to hold down a job for more than a week or two. But that's why I take jobs I can teach myself. Trial and error is my best way to learn. And I see that in Bubba too.

So I don't know the protocol. Can I call the school, sit in on the kindergarten classes, watch how the teachers are to know if they will challenge Bubba? We are considering a private school too. My real concern there is the discipline. The school we are looking into actually teaches Latin as part of their curriculum, which I think will be useful to Bubba because he has such an amazing grasp of language already, he really will need something to keep him interested.

And perhaps I just think too much about it. (Jee, ya think?)

Also on my mind is this summer. We have a niece due to be born in June. (Yay!! Another little cuddly thing) but they live in Portland and my mother-in-law wants to be there. (No kidding) So I have this urge to get my summer worked out so that she can be there. I really feel like I need to have a plan for the entire month of June and a fall back for the last two weeks of May and the first two weeks of July just in case. Again over thinking, but I would much rather be prepared than to end up trying to pull something together like I had to do for last week.

AND ... Bubba got in some trouble at preschool last year. (You show me yours, I'll show you mine type of behavior.) So we dealt with him and the other child it involved. I thought we were done with this problem. NOPE. The same thing almost happened with another child Sunday. I am very disturbed by his behavior. I can understand once, you get in trouble and it stops. But it hasn't stopped. So I go through many thoughts. Have we sheltered him by not having him in day care? Have we over-exposed him by not being modest enough in our house? Has something happened to him? This one gets me. So I asked, in 5 year old words. And he thinks about it and answers no. But I worry.

Surprises?

I found out today that a guy I went to high school with died in January.

The obituary really didn't say much but I have a friend who was living near him a couple years back so I call her to see what happened. He committed suicide. Somehow I knew. I read the obituary and I knew. I called her and she described the few months before his death and I knew. Even before she told me he took his own life, I knew.

I wish my old friend Dawn had known. We live in the same town (I think) but never see each other. She called after she heard Kelly had died. Only she hadn't heard what happened. So I told her. And in typical Rainey style I didn't think through what I was going to say and it didn't come out very well. I hope I eased her into it, but I don't think I did. And I am sorry for that. She was quite devastated. He could very well have been her "first love" 20 years ago. I know she cared deeply for him. And he for her. His daughters middle name is Dawn.

I dd get it together enough to ask her if she was alone or if she had someone home with her. She said she did, her kids were there (the oldest is at least 14 by now) and she was going to call her mom and cry for awhile. But what a dope I can be. Ugh.

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Other surprises this week include family friends splitting up after 25 years of marriage. Another situation that really didn't shock me.

How calloused am I that suicide and separation don't even make me bat an eye? No, I'm not on any anti-depressants right now. Is it the job? Dealing with death and divorce issues all day every day I just don't even have any feeling toward it anymore? No, I don't think that's it at all. Re-read my November posts. When my friend Jen died I was devastated. I just re-read it myself, and I am crying again for her family. I do still feel. I just don't feel these two situations. Interesting. Maybe after his memorial service on Saturday? I told Dawn I would be there. Maybe I can make up for being the bearer of bad news made worse? I sure hope so.

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And the final surprise? Flowers! And I didn't even ask for them. My Honey brought them home to me tonight. Roses. Nice. And as for our nooner tomorrow. Cancelled. The babysitter (mother in law) is leaving town and needs me to come home at 1:00. Bummer. The flowers, definitely a surprise. The cancelled nooner, not so much.

V-Day

Valentines Day is this week. I have plans too. Not the usual variety, out to romantic dinner then late night, nope that won't work for me, I have to work at 0300 (that's 3AM). So, instead I am taking off work at 1100, picking up my date (AKA My honey) and we will do a romantic lunch instead. Hopefully he will be able to spend a little more than his usual hour lunch out and we can sneak a nooner. We shall see. And as far as "romantic" goes, I don't have very high expectations. My Honey isn't the romantic type. At all. If I want a card I better tell him today or else I won't get one. It's just not his thing. I have learned to live with it. I had to decide 15 years ago if it was a deal breaker. it wasn't. If I want cards for every holiday I get them for myself (never) or I tell My Honey weeks in advance. It works for us.

Speaking of marriage, I just received a telemarketer call for Mrs. Vanbooskee. Its funny all the names I get called; Mrs. Visburk, Mrs. Busket, Mrs. Vinbursket because my last name is more than 5 letters long, therefore it can't be pronounced. Funny. Really funny because it is pronounced exactly as it is spelled.

Weird day

Just when I thought spring was here, SNOW. It always happens. We get a few weeks of mild temps (in the 40's) just to tease us that spring may actually be on the way, then one morning you wake up and SNOW. We hope it won't happen, but it always does. The weather is funny here that way. Luckily I finally took the time to go out in the back yard and rake up all the ugly pine needles from the wind storm over a month ago. It amounts to several large piles of stuff in the yard. And I am a little sore today.

I had this weird dream early this morning. Bubba came in to our bed at around 5:30 this morning and once I fell back asleep I dreamt about a large snake. It must have been 6-8 inches around and 8-10 feet long. The person showing me the snake said not to worry, just lie down and it will slither over me. So I did. Well the damned thing tried to constrict me. I couldn't breathe in my dream and I couldn't yell loud enough to get anyone's attention. It was frightening. Finally I woke up and found myself sleeping on my stomach with Bubba crowded nearby and the muscles in by back tensed up because I had been sleeping on my stomach. How weird is the human brain? To take that pain in my back, and turn it into a believable dream?

My kids are looking older this week. I keep catching glimpses of Bubba that project me forward in time. He looks somehow older and I think "wow, there's a teenage boy in there somewhere." Its kind of strange. And Punkin Head is thinning out or getting longer or both so her looks are changing too. And her hair is growing out so it makes her look different each day. Thankfully she is still very round so she looks mostly like a baby. And she is getting new words all the time. "Baby and Hello" are her two newest this week. But she still doesn't walk. Or stand. Or want to. I am trying hard not to stress about it but its to the point now where I worry that something may be wrong. She is nearly 15 months and does not pull herself up on furniture, stand on her own or even take steps when she is held (against her better judgement) standing. Its just strange. But it does make taking care of her really easy.

I did it

If you didn't look at this yesterday, you don't even know. I had a mess of a page. It took a few minutes, I had to concentrate really hard and apply myself but I figured out how to get the doggone links where I wanted them. Yay me! So much for the easier customized templates. They really aren't. Well for me anyway!

Now if I could just figure out how to change font sizes and a few other things I would be happy. But for now I am glad to be back to a page I can stand!

NEED

There is not enough candy in the house right now. I don't know why I think I need candy, but I do.

I found, and raided, Bubba's stash. This is the candy I set aside for him to be doled out at intervals because, like me, he has absolutely no will power when it comes to sweets. Not only that, he tends to get HYPER when he gets sugared.

So I devoured the rest of a box of jelly belly's, a small kit kat and I think I may bust open the giant size Crunch bar and see how much damage I can do.

Why I ask myself am I doing this? I dunno. Stress? Nope, I discarded that with the supervisor role last week. Anger? Nope, nothing to be angry at, the dishes and laundry both got done while I worked this weekend. Boredom? Maybe. My Honey went to watch the Superbowl and I am home alone with the kids. That could be it. Boredom.

I went back to my old template. I just couldn't stand that gray one more day. It made me crazy. Only now I cant really get this one to do what I want either. Lord help me to learn html or something. Maybe I will. Probably not.

Funny kids:
Punnkin Head was at Grandmas the other day, when I got there to pick her up she was trying earnestly to tell us something. She was babbling, holding her hands out in front of her like she was saying "well now, you see ..." on and on she went. It was so funny.

Bubba was looking for something today and says "where the hell is it?" Hmmmm, oops! Guess I still need to watch my mouth. The kid doesn't miss anything. So we talked again about how hell is an adult word and I didn't want to hear him saying it again. Kids.

Tidbits

I don't do politics. I don't research issues, I don't pay enough attention. If something sounds interesting I might check into it, but I don't spend hours on politics. That said, I saw a bumper sticker that caught my attention and made me laugh. I feel the need to share it:

01.20.09

Bush's Last day

The thing that caught my attention was the date, the thing that made me laugh were the red, white and blue words. I don't have a real opinion one way or the other, but here's where to go for yours.

In other news:

• I got a haircut today (actually, you guessed it, I got them all cut) ((that is such a dumb joke)) Cute, Cute, Cute. I have worn my hair long-ish for years, its back to short. And layered. And bangs. Cute. When I wore this style years back I had the nickname "princess" because it looked like a style that Princess Diana wore.
• Things are going pretty well at work as "just a dispatcher." I have had a lot of positive feedback from unexpected places.
• I don't have to change shifts at work
• I had a massage yesterday - heavenly
• The house cleaner came today. She is magnificent. She even took a few minutes and organized Punkin Head's toys and Bubba's art center. What a gal.
• The sun came out for a few minutes today too.
• Things are looking up.

I could be a tad healthier. I have cold I guess that has worked its way to my throat and is affecting my voice. I am very hoarse, its not pretty. Especially since I use my voice all day at work. But what do I do? I feel fine, I just have to plug through. Officers call up and ask if I am alright, should I even be at work, I sound so horrible. Aren't they sweet?

It's funny, when I was in school I remember other kids losing their voices, but never me. I never screamed myself hoarse at a football game (but I only went to 3 or 4) and I never sang enough to go hoarse either. But now, in my old age I lose my voice once or twice a year. Lucky me.

And the kids, they are good. They have both had a pretty good week. So, yeah, February is looking up. After a few crappy months personally and professionally that is nice to say.

Yet to come

Well, the worst may be yet to come. I declined the supervisor position. The one I have ranted about for weeks, or has it been months now? As I stated on the 19th of December, I didn't know if I could work for the people applying for the job... turns out I was right.

The partial offer I received from the new Ops person was pretty insulting and otherwise unacceptable (and we hadn't even talked salary.) Which leaves me in the role of "just a dispatcher" and I still need to work hard at many things. First - my job. Second - being professional about this whole thing. Third - how much to say and to whom. And fourth - respecting the new supervisors. They have a tough road ahead.

All-in-all I handled myself very well Friday and I hope I treated those hosers with more respect and dignity than they did me. I hope to be able to say just a few politically correct statements ("their offer was unacceptable" and/or "the process didn't strike me as above board, even though I could have benefited from it.") when the announcement comes out to answer questions. Plus, I still have a job I enjoy just no extra headaches. So far I come out ahead.

On a funnier note:
Bubba as upstairs watching TV... first a disclaimer: when I worked nights this was the ritual; My Honey would send Bubba upstairs to watch TV as a quiet activity before bed time, usually 7 or 7:30. The only kid-friendly channel (if you want to call it that) is Nickelodeon. Definitely not my first choice, but I wasn't home and I wasn't the one needing a break (you do what you gotta do). Alright, that said back to the story:

Bubba is upstairs watching TV tonight, I hear him saying something like "the week is finally over for Naked Brothers Band" over and over as he comes down the stairs. He comes to where I am sitting and tells me "the week is finally over for Naked Brothers Band." Now, I have seen enough of Nick to know that its some kind of new show, not really naked people in a band, but I still wonder what he is saying. So he explains it to me: "The WAIT is over. Not like how heavy it is, but like, well, you know, wait-ing" (emphasis on the -ing). Okay then, the WAIT is finally over. My little homonym-boy. Do you know any 5 year-olds that know the difference between weight and wait? Even scarier, he was quoting a commercial. Word for word.