Thursday, July 15, 2010

3 Days

I took some vacation time and left work early last night.

My poor Bubba, he's so lonely this week. His sister has been gone, his mama has been gone, it's just him and his dad. I called around bedtime last night and he was all tears, missing me, asking me not to work nights anymore. It's only been five days! It was a big week for him though, all that plus he went to a day camp program all week so he is exhausted. They run the kids hard, swim lessons, outside play time, crafts, all that kind of stuff. Poor little guy. Luckily we are on vacation next week so he will be good and sick of me by then!

Since I went home early, I got up with the boys this morning, made Bubba breakfast and then went for a ride on the borrowed bike. It feels pretty much the same. Like a bike, but I shaved 4 minutes off my ride time around the loop. I don't know if that is because I was thinking about it or because it actually goes faster because its lighter, but ... well, 4 minutes is one transition, so I am glad for it!

Speaking of thinking about things; I went music-less today, as I have been doing for the past couple weeks, no headsets allowed in the race, so I was thinking. I was wondering, actually, why I don't challenge myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, doing the race IS a challenge, I realize that, but as far as performance, why don't I challenge myself?

I did not end my ride huffing and puffing and panting as though I had tried to make a personal best time. In fact, I was quite ... "normal" no shaky legs, not breathing too hard. Hmmm. It's a good thing, really, but I just makes me wonder what more I have in me and how to tap that? How do (first place) winners get into that zone? Mind you, first place is not my goal, never has been, not sure it ever will be, but I wonder, sometimes, how would that feel? To win. Scary mostly, then the bar rises, the expectation goes up. If you win at one thing, don't you have to win at another? And another? And everything else?

Interesting, I just read a fitness blog by a friend of mine referring to her inner strength to do one more set. THAT's the part I am missing. (Funny, I typo'd "part" as "party".) If I wanted to push myself I could have gone 'round the loop one more time, I definitely could have handled it.

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