New Year

"One last thing. Resolutions. I don't make resolutions like "I am going to exercise 3 days a week" (although I could use it) or "I am going to eat healthy this year", or even "I will be nicer to my kids." But I do try to make one major mental attitude adjustment. For example one year I just wanted to be more content. So I worked hard at being content. That kind of thing. So this year, and this is hard for me to say, I need to work on obedience/respect. I have a mild issue with authority. My parents, bosses, husband. I would rather not listen to what they are telling me to do (although I want someone to tell me what to do) and do it my way (or not at all). So, that's my new year mental attitude adjustment, to be more obedient and respectful of everyone. Yikes, now its in writing. (Maybe I will just save this as a draft)." From January 3. 2006.

So how did I do? Not too bad I think. I had actually forgotten what I had written until just now. Hmmm, interesting. I made some progress in this arena, and used the words obedient and respect a lot more, but it sounded like I was involved in some kind of abusive relationship, "I am taking this shift because it is being obedient to my husband." Which meant to me that I was listening to his input in my life, and trying to make decisions as a team instead of just making my decisions myself.

I have been thinking about this year as far as a mental attitude adjustment and it goes something like this. I want to make the best of all social situations I am put in. Not hang back and spend the whole time observing, although it is a much more comfortable position for me and I am never bored, I just think it might be time for me to experience life in a different way. So I am putting myself to the test Saturday. We have been invited to a party that is way out of my comfort zone only because I don’t know very many people that will be there. My first baby step is actually going - much to the chagrin of the host. The second will be to try and talk and interact with people I don’t know. ACK!! Did I just say that? I am just such a social dolt. Oh well, I have a whole year to work on it right?

I get so jealous of people like LSL who can meet complete strangers and strike up an hours-long conversation. (Way to go LSL) I would love to get to know others better, I just never seem to know what to say. I can write and ask questions, but the words just never seem to come quick enough. Anyway, I am not beyond being taught or learning something new, so here I go embarking on my most social year ever. Not partying social, but getting to know others social. Wish me luck.

More changes this week at work. I start a new shift with new days off. I will work 5am-3pm and switch from Thursday & Friday off to Monday and Tuesday. It should stay that way for the year. (Unless I demand a re-bid after the guild contract gives me my seniority back.) There is a supervisor position being re-advertised for soon too. Hahaha, not a chance in hell. My Honey said if they approach me I should tell them I will review their offer in writing, that I won't go through the process again because all I got was screwed last time. Not a bad idea. See what obedience has done for me? As if they would even put an offer in writing, they never did last time.