I called an old friend (we have known each other since grade school when I moved into her neighborhood) to go out last night. We have not gotten together regularly for over a year, but she has been on my mind a lot lately.
I had a hunch the things we would talk about, but I was so wrong. We got caught up on kids, work, church, school and then she dropped a bomb. She has to have major surgery on Monday. The kind that forever changes the chances of her having kids. She is in a really tough place and I don't even know what to say. Its so not a place I have ever been. I have always taken care NOT to get pregnant, I don't even know the right words to say to someone who has wanted nothing more than to have kids and has not been able to. She has been blessed with 3 adopted kids, but has held onto that dream of birthing a child and now, she has had to make a decision to take all that away. Permanently.
She has spoken freely of how inferior others have made her feel for not being able to have kids. As if she did something wrong to "cause" it. Of how people have asked "Are you going to have any kids of your own?" Bless her heart she just answers "These kids are all my own" with a gentleness and grace that I don't think I could muster day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year.
I find myself wondering why I am in her life right now? How can I support her? What can I do? Its kind of a running theme with several folks. What was that new years mental attitude adjustment I had? Something about "making the best of all social situations? Getting to know others." Oh and my personal favorite "its not about me." Hmmm.
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