"Am I as spontaneously kind to God as I used to be, or am I only expecting God to be kind to me? ... How much kindness have I shown Him in the past week? Has my life been a good reflection on His reputation? ... Am I as filled to overflowing with love for Jesus Christ as I was in the beginning, when I went out of my way to prove my devotion to Him?" My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers daily devotional for January 21.
Has my life been a good reflection on His reputation? Hmmm, depends on what part of my life you are looking at.
The end of the devotional says "...I may also begin to realize that He is not what He used to be to me. When this happens, I should allow the shame and humiliation it creates to bring godly sorrow and 'godly sorrow produces repentance ...'(2 Corinthians 7:10)"
Obviously this is speaking to me on a very personal level right now. The thing is, I ain't ready to face the shame, humiliation or repentance right now. My pride is getting in the way.
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In other news, its fricking freezing cold here. I think it was 9 degrees when I went to work this morning. This is part of the 6 weeks of winter where I wish we had a better heat system in the house, instead I have become an expert fire-starter. The fireplace is going almost non-stop either from the time I wake up or from the time I get home after work until I go to bed. Brrrrrr. Thankfully there is no wind or it would be unbearable out. Trouble is it's deceptively beautiful. Bright blue skies, the sun is shining, but its COLD. Since there were no clouds last night with the nearly full moon it was really, really pretty. I was wishing I was out in the sticks taking moon-light photos of snow covered fields or mountains or something. That would have been really (cold) cool.
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