Kinda bummed

For the first time, I would say hockey practice sucked.

It wasn't the whole thing, I need to keep that in mind, it was just a few pieces that didn't fit together very well. I tried to ask someone for help with what the hell we were supposed to be doing and she skated away from me. Either she didn't hear me, which is entirely possible or she just didn't want to help me and that made me want to cry and skate off the ice and quit for the night. But, I sucked it up, tried to shake it off, and continued. I was pissed off. But I continued. Screw her. I watched everyone else and tried to figure the stupid drill out myself. It went alright, but it sure would have taken less time if she would have helped. Why else would I skate across the ice to her? Ugh, really?

So the good thing was I didn't actually have to play with her (last night), she was on my team for the scrimmage, and we were playing the same positions, so we replaced each other. For the most part the scrimmage went pretty good, but if I screw something up (or think I do) I lose my concentration. My head game goes to shit. The good thing is, I realized this (last night) and I was able to talk myself back into the game.

The format (last night) was pretty cool. We had the ice for ninety minutes instead of sixty, so we did 20 minutes - Power Skating, 45minutes - Hockey Drills and 25 Minutes - Scrimmage.

Power skating is just skating around the rink at 110% sometimes with the puck. By 110% I mean instead of skating full speed, we skate 110% of full speed. Over do it, power skate. We did the top of the circle, then the bottom of the circle, using cross overs to make the corners, full speed through the neutral zone then the top and bottom of the circles at the other end of the ice. Then we did it backwards. I just gotta say I rock the backwards! And the skating I did on Wednesday? I so totally used it!

The drills are where I felt like quitting. But, I sucked it up. The worst part is this: when I ask for help I fricking NEED it. It's just not me to go ask anyone for help, let alone a stranger. It took a lot out of me and then I felt ignored and ... like the kid no one wants to play with on the playground. I felt like I was in 2nd or 3rd grade left alone to figure shit out. (Yeah, it brought up a BUNCH of juvenile feelings.) BUT, I grew a pair and decided screw her. "Sticks and stones" right? (Hmmm, I might still be a bit cranky about what happened this morning too!)

And then the scrimmage. We played full ice, one 20 minute period. It was good to watch the first shift, watch the gal I was stepping in for, what she did. By the third time I stepped in I got some puck action. I tried so hard to get it up the ice, but the stupid boards get in the way! Note to self: get off the boards, take the puck to the center. I'm pretty sure that's what we were drilling earlier in the afternoon -- duh. I did find and try to keep on my point person and I didn't do too bad, I guess.

It's become way more mental for me as I have learned what I am supposed to do and where I am supposed to be, I have this constant track running in my head of where to go, what to watch for, what to do next. I hope it all comes together sometime in the next 5 years. Yes, I hope to be playing for the next 5 years. My 30's were about doing a triathlon, my 40's will be about hockey. One home tournament this year. Two home and one away next year and work up to being invited to play in some of the select tournaments by the time I am 50. Good goals? Good lord, did I just say "by the time I am 50"?

And in other news, I am home with Hannah today who has had a fever of at least 102* since Friday. I took her to the doctor, they ruled out strep and the flu, but are concerned it could be something else so she had to have blood drawn. T-R-A-U-M-A-T-I-Z-I-N-G. My precious five-year old being held down by me while they draw blood out of her arm. Yeah, I was a mess. Bawling like a baby. She did really good though. She cried too. And THEN, she had the bloodiest of bloody noses I've seen in a long time! I used to get them as a kid, it reminded me of that. She was totally chill. Unbelievable.