Okay, you guys win

These nails. Every eighteen inches, all the way across the room.

Part of the fireplace. All white! Notice the trim, isn't it pretty? (Right below the air conditioner, LK.)
The upstairs hallway. Closet, master bedroom, and closet doors all white. 6 hours of my life painting these doors. First person to scratch them pays the price!!!

These don't really show the color very well, but its a very nice brown.