Hitched to the Universe

" When we try to pick out anything by itself,
we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe."

- John Muir


I've been coming back to this quote a LOT lately.

Especially today.

Yesterday, my day started with a dead 16 year old (second suicide in a small community near my home) and ended with a fatal motor vehicle crash. Lovely day.

I don't know much about the suicide and left work just minutes after dispatching aid crews to the crash. Last I heard there were good Samaritans doing CPR on the crash victim and it didn't look good. When a motorcycle and a vehicle collide there usually isn't a good outcome.

Later, My Honey and I went to his pool league. As they started playing one of the guys came over and asked us to stop and listen up for a minute, they had an announcement. One of their young friends had been killed in a tragic accident. "OMG," I thought, "the suicide." Earlier in the afternoon their young friend had been killed in a motorcycle crash. "Nope, the motorcyclist."

I don't tell a lot of people what I do. I don't like that awkward feeling they get of "does she know about me?" Or the awkward feeling I get of "yeah, I was there for that." I would rather not know. I would rather they not know. So when something like these tragedies becomes public, and I am around,  I wonder how much to say (if I can say anything at all) and who to talk to, or what people who know will say to me. Needless to say I felt weird at the bar last night. For awhile. Then I realized that no one knows me as a dispatcher. They know me as My Honey's Wife That Drinks Mac & Jack.

Still. It was hitched to everything in the Universe.

Today there was another incident involving some folks that are a part of my Universe. Heart breaking situation I'm not sure what to do about. Actually, I can't do anything. I don't really know about it. Love them when they are around. That's all I can do.

This year has been a bit rough on me so far. Thank you, "Compassion" for being my word.
(Yeah, that's totally full of sarcasm.)