Woe is me

I have been trying to sleep for the past 2 hours. I had a little success then Punkin Head woke up and now my mind is reeling and won't shut down.

Its been a long week. My Honey went out of town on business last week from Sunday through Wednesday. I adjusted my schedule so that I could be home earlier with the kids. Usually I work until 11 pm, I made a change to 7 pm for last week. It worked out nice but I have not had any time to myself. I know, how selfish of me, but sheesh, I need it.

So he gets back to town and I end up working Friday night (one of my days off). Not a HUGE deal except that we just have not seen eachother pretty much since Mothers Day. (So here I am at the computer instead of in bed). In addition to that there is laundry (from his trip) dishes, grocery shopping and other miscellaneous stuff (except the house cleaning which I hire out - I know, how selfish) that only I seem to be able to do. Pretty much by Saturday, my only day off this week I am cranky. I am especially cranky when he goes golfing. I don't even remember Saturday anymore. Must have been the Red Wine.

Sunday I am scheduled overtime (OT) at work that may keep me there until 3am - Its Memorial Day weekend and one of our dispatch areas is a resort town ... So I make arrangements to sleep at the in-laws because they are out of town and I figure it will be quiet. At 2 my sister in law shows up to take care of the kids because of golf and I head to work. Fortunately it wasnt too busy so I was released at 11pm. On the way home I am having this internal debate - Do I go home and sleep knowing I will not get a good nights sleep or should I just go to the in-laws even though I got off way earlier than I thought I would?? I debate until the very last place I could turn that wouldn't make it (too) out of the way to go there and decide to go home instead.

Good thing.

My Honey ended up in the ER. Heart problems. Or thats what we thought it was. He woke when I got home and was very nauseus and had numbness in his left hand/fingers. One wouldn't get too concerned about this except that he had a real heart attack last year so every twinge seems like a big deal. He took a nitro and tried to relax. I called his sister to have her come over to stay with the kids. Called work to have them send an ambulance and got prepared for a long night. And it was a long night. I didn't leave the hospital until after 4am. My Honey stayed the night so they could observe him.

They don't think he had a heart event. He checked out fine. But the stress. On top of that, Bubba didn't sleep very good while we were gone - go figure. So when I got home BOTH the kids were up, Punkin head had just eaten so she went right down, and Bubba crashed. Thankfully they both slept pretty good. I didn't. I had to be up early enough to call and cancel the golf game that had been planned - that ended up being 7:30. And then the kids woke up. So I had about 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Finally at 2:00 the hospital released My Honey. I had another short nap from 3-5 so I am running on 4 hours of sleep essentially and you would think that I would have crashed out?? But no. Can't sleep.

Too much stuff on my mind. Work, kids, My Honey, not sleeping. UGH.

06/13/06 I wasnt sure if I wanted to post this, but I decided to go ahead today.