Well, the meeting with BB, his mom, Bubba and I went well. We laid down the law and told them that they need to work on good behavior or they will have to be in different classes at school. We also reminded them that ALL the parents agree and that Miss C at school will know what we agreed to so there is some accountability there too.
I know that sounds harsh but they needed it. And yes, we would put them in different classes - it is not an empty threat. We also told them we will make an effort to get them together outside of school to play, also not an empty promise, we will get them together.
It is fortunate that I worked with BB's dad for the past few years, (although we never got the boys together until they were in school) because this situation was easy to talk about and work through. He and I knew some of eachothers philosophy about kid-raising and it just really made it a lot easier to talk to his wife without feeling like I didn't know anything about them. We didn't have to start with "So how do you handle this kind of thing?" It was more like "I think this will work, what do you think?" We shall see.