Lens

“You don’t see the world as it is. You see the world as you are.” ` anais nin


I was sitting here wondering "what kind of Mother am I that four days with my kids makes me so irritable?" Because I am irritable today, and it's day four of me and the kids. I can pretty much count on being sick of them by day four, but I really try to get through it. Not so much today. I feel really raw emotionally. Really wore out physically and I'm not sure what mentally.

The past two weeks have definitely taken their toll with the smoke in my valley. I was pretty fine until Tuesday when I started to feel the effects physically. My Honey had come home from work several days early complaining of headache, upset stomach and inability to concentrate. Although his workplace is right next door, his building is 100+ years old so their ventilation isn't very good, nor are their windows double paned, not only that, they have people going in and out the doors all day long (he works a the YMCA.) My building, on the other hand, is only seven years old, has pretty decent HVAC and we don't have anyone opening or shutting doors on a regular basis. Not only that, we are on the third floor so we don't get much outdoor pollution. But when it hit me, it hit me hard. Tuesday I felt horrible, nauseous, and just plain gross. Wednesday morning I still felt like crap, but figured I could make it part of the day so I went to work but ended up taking a couple hours sick leave and I made plans to get out of Dodge.

Thankfully my Dad and his wife are always happy to take us in. We headed there on Wednesday afternoon ... -ish. Now that's a story.

I picked the kids up from school at 3:10, we headed home to pack and then hit the road. I figured we could be headed out of town by 4. We nearly made it. I think we left my driveway at 4:10 and stopped for gas. Once we hit the highway I was relieved and looking forward to getting some much needed fresh air. I was thinking ahead to Thursday and what would we do? The Seattle area has so much to offer. Aquarium, Pacific Science Center, Zoo? Or maybe go to Tacoma to the Point Defiance Zoo, or maybe Puyallup?!! I bet the Puyallup Fair is going on. All these thoughts of fun things were on my mind until we hit the road block.

There are three ways to get there from here. Highway 97, US 2 or I-90. The route we use most often is Highway 97. Unfortunately the fires that are blanketing us with smoke right now also closed the highway down right before we got there. If only I had listened to that little niggler in the back of my mind that said "Take I-90 today" or the one that said "Check Face Book before you take off", I would have been an hour ahead of myself. But NOOOOO, I chose to ignore my intuition (which is rarely wrong) and do whatever else.

Since we were headed back into town anyway, I checked with My Honey to see if he wanted to meet us for dinner before we left town. We met, had dinner and we were back on the road just before 6. I'm not a natural blond anymore, but I can pass for one in a pinch. Or maybe it just comes naturally from being blond most of my life? For some stupid reason I had highway 97 on my brain (which is suffering from smoke inhalation, mind you) and I was caught up in conversation with the kids, so I exited onto 97 at Ellensburg. Damn near fatal error. Guess what? It is THIRTY MILES to the next turn-around. And then THIRTY MILES back to where you belong. Another hour wasted. So now its after 8, I have been up since 2am (is any of this sounding familiar?) and I am getting CRANKY. We finally reach our destination at 10. I have never been happier! We get our beds set up, and sleep. Ahhh, blessed sleep.

Thursday we did The Fair. I actually love the Puyallyp Fair. It has so much more to offer than my podunk small town fairs around here. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see what I wanted. I tried to make it a day for the kids. They had a blast! Hannah was all over the rides, Bubba joined her (!), they visited a few exhibits and had a pretty good time. More than once I was dubbed "the bestest Mom in the world" by Hannah. Even when I wouldn't let her do some insane ride called "Zero Gravity." In my days it was the "RoundUp." HELL NO! I didn't even go on it then, no way EVER am I gonna let her go on it!! As a peace offering though, I told her I would go on the Ferris Wheel (which I also hate, heights are not my favorite thing). Again, I was dubbed the "bestest Mom in the world!" as she clutched my hand. It really was a lot of fun watching them go on the rides and I realized it was a bit of the fair I have never seen. Something I have never experienced. I'm glad we did it.

Friday was chaotic. I was able to get a 2 mile walk in which was really nice in the fresh air and mist! And then I thought I would take the long way home (US 2) and hit the Cabela's in Everett. Since Hannah had so much fun at the fair, I thought Bubba would like a visit to Cabela's. It was a ... well, I don't know quite yet... an Experience, I guess. Hannah spent all her money at the fair and Bubba had about $40 to spend so I thought if I let him look for about 90 minutes he should be able to decide on a few things and we could be on the road by 4 heading home. Well ... after nearly 2 hours we were on the road alright, but not without tears and bad Mama behavior in the store! (I don't know who should have been more embarrassed me or him...) As far as shopping experiences go -- THE. WORST. As far as teachable moments go, WOW. We've been working on our budget, teaching the kids as we go along, as best we can. Bubba has learned quite a bit as evidenced by his savings and logic, "If I don't spend the money you give me for the fair, do I get to keep it?" Yes, he did. So he had money to spend but couldn't bring himself to part with it, "they sell stuff like this for half the price back home" was one of his revelations. Yep, sometimes if you put a name on it, it will cost more (Miss Me jeans, anyone?)

Finally, we headed home. No missed turns, just the stress of returning to the smoke infested valley. We stopped and picked up face masks on the way home which decreased the stress level about 100 times, but still.

Today we worked hard on cleaning the house, I was having a party so I wanted it just so. I have more to say on that; I love having a party, I just hate the cleaning and prep and worrying if anyone will show and is my house clean enough and do I have enough food and .... I am a total head case! Shocking realization, really!

And that's about it. Did I mention the part about being a bad Mom? What kind of mom is sick of her kids after spending every hour with them for the past 4 days???? Please, someone tell me I am not the only one .... Which takes me back to the quote I forgot I posted to begin with ....   “You don’t see the world as it is. You see the world as you are.” ` anais nin   I related that quote to photography. Lately I've taken a ton of pictures of - my kids. Maybe I'm not all bad?