Wednesday, January 09, 2013


Oh, how having kids makes you look back, and forward, and ask yourself so many questions.

Hannah has a friend that pulls the "I don't want to be your friend anymore" business on a pretty regular basis and it makes me so sad because she really adores this friend. And it takes me back to grade school (and beyond) and makes me look at myself and wonder if I was ever that mean. I don't think I was, I kept my words to myself until adulthood, but I probably ACTED that way from time to time (especially if there was a boy involved). So I have a hard time guiding Hannah. What I really want to tell her is not to put so much of her heart into this relationship since it keeps getting broken, but she is as stubborn as I am, and I don't want her to have to learn to open her heart back up later in life like I have had to. So we talk and we cry and I don't know the answers. I try to teach her to use her words (it hurts my feelings when you say you don't want to be my friend) and to be kind (thats okay, I still like you) but will it work? Or will she become a doormat? I doubt that! But I don't want her to go the other way either and join in.

And Bubba. He's eleven now and it's weird. He wants so much, but doesn't want to do the work for it. He needs so much, but should be growing out of that phase, right? He wants to be independent, but falls apart when he can't do something by himself. He is one great big contradiction! AND IT'S EXHAUSTING!!!! We've spent more time in tears and yelling in the past few days than I care to record. Suffice it to say, there has been kid-drama every day for at least ten days... I'm tired out by it and tired of it.

So looking forward to vacation, which may actually be causing the problem. My Honey and I are leaving next week for 10 days to go where it's warm and the kids are not invited. I think, in their own ways they are stressed out which comes out in tears and bad behavior because they don't know how to say they're stressed out and worried about us being gone. I guess we need to come up with some kind of "what to do when you miss mom and dad" thing... Facebook? A journal? Make a photo album for them to look at? A video? Sure sounds like I'm creating a lot of work for myself....

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