I've never been one to ask for help. I can usually figure out whatever I'm trying to do and/or just quit. Yeah, I can be a quitter. (More on this later, I played hockey last night and found myself giving up on something ...)
Recently though, I branched out. I asked for help. And I received it. In abundance. With kindness and gentleness.
It's not that big of a deal, really. I was trying to get the blocks for My Honey so we could do some of the projects around the house we'd prepared for, but the truck battery was dead. This meant using the Explorer and making many, many trips across town to get the blocks. Or be creative. So I called his dad and asked if he could help me (after figuring out how to set up the battery charger on the truck so it would be ready the next time). He gladly came over, helped me load and unload the blocks, checked my work on the battery charger and then guided me while I drove the truck and trailer down to the gravel place to get a load of gravel. Truly, it was the most time I have spent one-on-one with my dad-in-law, ever and it was worth it on many levels.
1/He was delighted to help. It cost me a cuppa coffee, but he was glad to do it. Side note: he would have paid for his own coffee, I just thought it was the least I could do!
2/He never made me feel bad for asking for help. People just need help. No reason to sigh and complain. If you don't want to help, just say no. If you are going to help, do it with a happy heart.
3/We got to talk about a LOT of stuff. Uninterrupted.
4/He said "yes" and was reliable, hard working help.
5/It actually opened up this whole new world of being less afraid to ask for help. Cuz, it ain't easy for me. At. All.
Which brings me to the why. Why isn't it easy for me to ask for help? Why will I let myself get overwhelmed to the point of anger? Partly because I've never been successful at asking and receiving. Maybe I was asking the wrong people. Or the people I asked weren't as kind about it, it was high-drama that they were giving up their time to help me. Maybe I've been that way too? Definitely something to work on. Yes means yes, and that I will gladly do what I said I would do otherwise I should have said no.
One of my new patios. This one is out front. It sure cleaned up the space nicely!