And then

And then Punkin Head broke out in a rash. Hives all over her poor little body from head (and I mean on her scalp) to toe, and I do mean toe. She was one big red blob. Cause? Unknown, could be the amoxicillin, which means she is labeled as allergic to penicillin forever or it could just be the way her little body responded to whatever virus she happened to catch. What ever the hell it was, let it be gone! I think I have had my share of sick.

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I always think twice about sharing a work story, but this one, well, you decide. I worked the Fire/EMS desk last week, pretty boring until there was an aid call or fire call and then I was on. Working this 3am to 1pm shift has been less than productive. I miss most of the good stuff and I definitely miss the busy times of the day. Such was true last week too. I had only one aid call up until around 10 am and it was for a male that had pulled out his catheter. (Yeah, I winced too) and he was bleeding from his ... well you get the picture, and I do want you to picture it, he has pulled out a catheter and is bleeding from his ...

So my job is to send an ambulance. The ambulance responds, transports him to the hospital. Not a big deal. Later the ambulance tells me they are taking him back to his house, I assume his catheter is back in place. An hour later someone calls again asking for the ambulance to return, his catheter has been pulled out again (same wince). So they go. By this time I am laughing in a dispatch-sick way. We deal with trauma everyday, laughing about someone elses pain lets off steam.

The ambulance transports him as we are having our crotch-grabbing laugh. One of my co-workers husbands works for the hospital where he was transported. Just so happens she is working when I mention that my only calls have been for the catheter-guy. She starts to tell me how they probably called her husband in because he is a catheter specialist. Really?? Thanks for the visual. Now I have the picture of her husband inserting catheters burned onto my eyeballs. Thanks. Just what I needed I tell her. This really brings on the laughter. Then she continues to tell us, yeah at his his old hospital it was his specialty, they used to call him in for that kind of work, he was especially good with prostate cancer patients. Alright, already, I have the image of him with penis in hand (literally) inserting catheters burned into my brain now, thanks!! But I cannot resist just one more comment "he must have a gentle touch" (or genital touch) Am I bad or what? Sick sick sick.

side note: I am half afraid to publish this with "penis" and "genital" in it.