Guilt

My girl, DW writes about things she doesn't do, and I loved it. It was a closer glimpse into her life and much of it rang true for me too.

Here are some things on my list:
I don't always reply to my kids when they say "mom ..."
I don't (intentionally) watch TV - so you would think I had a lot of extra time
I don't pay attention when I spend money
I don't follow through well
I don't keep a list of "things to do" so nothing gets done
I don't put laundry away after its folded
(Until recently) I didn't cook dinner
I don't clean regularly

And I can get to feeling bad about it all. Guilt is the worst. It can become so consuming, overwhelming and just plain unbearable if left unchecked. It leads to anger, discontent and depression. It's hard, though not to feel guilty, when it comes to wanting to give our best and not being able to for whatever reason; time, money, disinterest, rebellion. Then, when guilt has settled in, its even harder to shake. It takes a lot of energy. A lot of positive self talk. A lot of asking for compliments, "Did you like dinner?" A lot of prayer, thankfulness, and awareness of our value.

So I try to keep in the front of my thoughts the things I DO do. Its a fluid list, but here is what I accomplished this week:
I washed and folded clothes (putting away was optional)
I cleaned up the kitchen each day (not every room, just the kitchen)
I didn't let the dirty laundry pile up too bad
I have cooked every night since Sunday (technically, since the beginning of October we have only eaten out twice, and someone else has cooked twice) WOW! Yay me
I met with my girls this morning which encouraged me
I worked my scheduled shifts and an OT shift
I met with my trainee to discuss some issues
I am taking the kids for pictures today (Antiquities, thanks again DW)
I got through another week of Bible study. That sounds bad, I am enjoying it, but it is a lot of time.
I shopped for Halloween costume stuff. (Which netted me a great pair of black boots for $3.50 at Goodwill, they are for my pirate costume, but I have worn them several times already)

Well, its not where I thought I would go with this post, but its where it went.