Grief

REFLECTION

I learned something last night.

I learned that there are times in my life that are over where I have not finished going through the grieving process and they still hang over my head. I continue to wonder what I did wrong or why it’s not the same.

It was interesting to come to this realization when I did. I had called a friend with whom this situation exists, I wanted to get together and talk. She is a party consultant and had a party scheduled so she invited me to go and then we would go out after. So I went. There I was, in a room full of strangers with whom I ended up having a lot in common. One gal was describing how she had known several of the women that were there from a really good time in her life, and although she had grieved when that time ended, she still valued the friendships in their new way. BINGO! I was right where I needed to be to hear what I needed to hear.

It was exactly the words I needed to tell my friend what I have been through in the past few years with her. Not like it’s her fault, but I just hadn’t moved through the grief process with our relationship and that’s what I needed to hear and what I needed to tell her. I miss what we used to be, but it is (has been) time to move on to what we are becoming.

And if that’s the only thing that comes out of this week's vacation, it was so worth it. But I don’t think it will be. God’s not done with me yet. He gave me a whole list.