Fragile, handle with care

Well, they're off. Grandma picked Bubba up an hour ago and they're headed to Portland. It sure is quiet around here already. Punkin Head didn't sleep well last night so she is already down for a nap, My Honey is at work so its just me for another hour or so.

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There's this gal that I knew when I worked at the YMCA. She was definitely a lost soul. Didn't really seem all there all the time, her significant other took pretty good care of her, but she wasn't one I thought would be good on her own. I didn't know it it was mental illness, drugs, alcohol or all of the above.

I'll call her Vee. We didn't really become "friends" but we got to know one another a little over a couple of years of her coming in regularly with her son and significant other. She was one of those people I knew had suffered some kind of trauma, I just don't know what kind.

Anyway, she quit coming in, I went to work for the police department. The only way we stayed in touch was that she was a police "regular". (Turned out to be all of the above).

She went missing almost a month ago. She was located yesterday. I am not shocked at the circumstances, I had the feeling she would be located not return, if you know what I mean. But I am still a little saddened.

Vee is the third person (its always in 3's right?) that had some kind of impact on my life that has died in some tragic way in the past 7 months. First Jen, my yogi, was killed in a car accident, then my high school friend Kelly committed suicide, now Vee. So I guess I am just not sure what to make of it all. Part of me realizes its just a phase where people are dying, phases like this happen. Another part goes who's next and yet another part wants to move toward a deeper spirituality to find meaning in it all - if that makes any sense.

I guess I want to explore the "impact on my life" part. Kelly was a deviant really. Very nice guy but into drugs, probably a little deeper than I realized at the time, although I knew he was using back then. As far as impact? Well, maybe I am one of his "5 people you meet in heaven" (after a suicide, well that's a philosophical debate for another time) I dunno. I'm not even sure what I am trying to say. Guess I better sit with it awhile longer, see what comes out.

I wonder if there will be a memorial service for Vee? I am acquainted with her sister, I wonder if she would like to see a familiar face there?

In the mean time I am quite fragile.